heightened sensitivity and intuition, you may find that you are susceptible to the wiles of a narcissus

It is puzzling how, despite your keen perception, you have the warning signs. The explanation can be traced back to your formative years. Highly sensitive children", like other children, tend to devise to avoid the truth",. Only by overcoming the confusion and fear of childhood can you recognise and avert manipulative communication, harmful relationships. This is especially true if you grew up in a family with narcissistic tendencies.

One might assume that if you are born highly sensitive, it would be easy to identify and avoid individuals with personality disorders, such as narcissists. This notion particularly applies to HSPs, who possess heightened sensitivity and intuition. However, this is often not the reality.

Growing up as a highly sensitive child within a family with one or more narcissists, it is common to develop means of survival. Surviving in a family with narcissistic abuse is a daunting task, especially for a sensitive and defenceless child. While it can be challenging for anyone, it is especially taxing for those who feel, see, understand and intuitively perceive everything. One possible survival strategy is the decision to close the third eye.

Many children, especially those who are highly sensitive, resort to creating a survival plan to avoid confronting the truth. They may even choose to shut off their third eye altogether because acknowledging their (home) circumstances can be an extremely traumatic experience. For example, a parent's jealous or resentful gaze, aloofness or mistreatment towards them, their sibling, mother or father can be unbearable for a highly sensitive child. These negative emotions, such as coldness, emptiness or narcissistic anger, which are of a lower frequency, can be particularly distressing for them because they can cause these emotions a lot of pain.

Making a deceptive impression.

Narcissistic abuse within the environment is often overlooked because it is usually masked by appearances of the family. The mother who is always there to read stories to her children, the father who is a welcome educator at school - these images exude a false sense of harmony. Unfortunately, neighbours, relatives and acquaintances are too often misled by this distorted reality.

When the doors are closed, a very different story unfolds. You may have grown up as a shadow child, an overlooked child or even the favourite child (the apple of the narcissistic parent's eye). Regardless of the label, the end result is still the same: a pattern of emotional and psychological abuse. Sometimes this mistreatment can extend beyond the emotional and psychological and manifest as physical or sexual abuse.

YOU COULDN'T SEE THE REALITY

Listening to fairy tales from wonderful families - that may be the only way for a very compassionate child to survive. You go with the flow, because that way narcissistic tantrums and other threats are least likely to be directed at you. Your senses are overstimulated by all the intense energy. The emptiness and indifference in your relationship with your parents is exhausting... but because you never get along with a narcissist, you end up in very difficult situations as a child. If you shine and stand up for your strength, you will be ignored or belittled. But you can also face harsh criticism or cold rejection if you don't do it perfectly. So you are kind of stuck: in the eyes of the narcissist, you are doomed to do the wrong thing. It was very tough psychologically and it took a lot of energy to get through it. But you had no other way out.

As highly sensitive adults, we sometimes find out very late that the families we come from are particularly dysfunctional.

Understanding narcissism and narcissistic abuse is an important step towards recovery. It is about seeing more and more of reality. You feel your feelings and listen to your intuition. You hear the signals your body is giving you. Because you have forgotten - as a survival strategy.

In the process, you gradually take your body, emotions and intuition seriously. And you ignore the superficial versions of reality from other people who have no idea what goes on behind the facade. Learn to trust your feelings. For your own mind and your own truth.

be yourself

Fortunately, as highly sensitive people, we have the ability to clearly perceive what is genuine and what is not. It is important to notice when someone's behaviour seems pleasant but makes no sense. If the other person's communication is inconsistent, it is important to take your feelings seriously.

The beauty of the body is this: it never lies. The beauty of our intuition and senses is their ability to pick up the undercurrents of communication. Not a superficial phenomenon that someone puts down with words.

When you step out of the confusion of a child to survive and that child to heal, you have acquired the ability to recognise manipulative communication, toxic relationships. Then you can let your intuition and sensitivity work for you and choose partners and friends who truly suit you. And enter into relationships from the joy of being recognised by soulmates and like-minded people. You are consciously and fearlessly your radiant self!

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Rachida